Rodney Wood

BIZARRE COST CUTTING IDEAS

Cures for The Black Death included: wearing a dead toad, applying powdered unicorn horn, a newly dead pigeon and crushed emeralds, drinking 10 year old medicine, having urine baths and living in a sewer.

 

put really expensive guns on tractors / and disguise missile launchers as Coca-Cola lorries

the Defence Secretary said: / put really expensive guns on tractors

the Defence Secretary said: / and disguise missile launchers as Coca-Cola lorries

 

planes should carry only just enough fuel / engines can be fixed with duct tape

Airlines said: tell the cabin crew to slim down / planes should carry only just enough fuel

Airlines said: tell the cabin crew to slim down / and engines can be fixed with duct tape

 

the notes say the patient needs “baloney amputation” / and they’re cheaper in the long run

the secretary of steak for elf said: / the notes say the patient needs “baloney amputation”

the secretary of steak for elf said: / and they’re cheaper in the long run

 

the ice-cream tune means they’ve ran out / and become good friends with your neighbours

Mother said: unplug everything / the ice-cream tune means they’ve ran out

Mother said: unplug everything / and become good friends with your neighbours

 

© Rodney Wood

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